WE'RE HAVING A BABY! SURPRISE!! IF IT'S NOT TO YOU, IT SURE WAS A HUGE SURPRISE TO ME!!! THIS WAS UNPLANNED AND UNEXPECTED! I HAVE A DEGREE IN NURSING AND I HAVE TWO OTHER CHILDREN, SO I AM FULLY EDUCATED ON HOW TO GET CHILDREN! I JUST STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW I GOT THIS ONE! I AM STILL WAITING ON SOME SIGN OR VISION FROM THE VIRGIN MARY! AND TO THINK THAT MY OTHER TWO CAME WITH FERTILITY MEDICATION, AND THEN THIS ONE JUST POPS UP OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE. I AM NOT MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, FINANCIALLY READY FOR THIS IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. WHEN I FOUND OUT, I WAS STRUGGLING SO HARD THAT MY DOCTOR PUT ME ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS! SO NOW, SEVERAL WEEKS LATER, I AM ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITHOUT CRYING HYSTERICALLY! WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL YOU ASK, CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPY? I AM TRYING, I AM JUST NOT READY FOR ANY OF THIS.....NAUSEA, VOMITING, FATIGUE, FAT, MATERNITY CLOTHES, FAT, BREAST FEEDING, FAT, NAUSEA, FAT, ...OH AND DID i MENTION BEING NAUSEATED AND FAT! LET ALONE MY BABY IS ONLY 17 MONTHS OLD. HE WILL BE A MONTH SHY OF 2 YEARS WHEN THIS BABY IS DUE! SO FOR ALL OF YOU WITH KIDS CLOSE TOGETHER PLEASE GIVE ME SOME PEACE OF MIND.
SO FOR ALL YOU OF THAT HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHY THERE ARE NO PICTURES OF ME WATER SKIING AT THE LAKE THIS YEAR, IT IS BECAUSE, I HAVE NOT. THIS IS A VERY BIG SACRIFICE FOR ME, NOT ONE I WAS READY TO SACRIFICE THIS SUMMER!
BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN NEARLY AS SICK SO FAR AS MY OTHER TWO PREGNANCIES!! USUALLY BY THIS TIME I HAVE HAD AT LEAST ONE ROUND OF IV FLUIDS AND PUCKED MY BRAINS OUT! BUT THE VOMITING HAS BEEN MINIMAL AND THE NAUSEA, FOR THE MOST PART, HAS BEEN CONTROLLED WITH MEDS! SO THIS MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS IN MY MIND, 1)IT IS A GIRL (ONE CAN HOPE CAN'T THEY?) OR 2)HEAVENLY FATHERS HAS PROMISED US HE WON'T GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE, AND I KNOW I COULD NOT HANDLE BEING AS SICK AS I HAVE BEEN WITH MY OTHER PREGNANCIES.
WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT I ASKED JEFF TO GIVE ME A BLESSING. I TOLD HIM I HAVE PRAYED FOR A LOT OF ANSWERS SO YOU BETTER NOT STOP THIS BLESSING UNTIL YOU HAVE MADE SURE YOU HAVE TOLD ME EVERY LAST THING YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO TELL ME!! AND LETS JUST SAY, IT WAS A VERY LENGTHY BLESSING, BUT ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL ONES JEFF HAS EVER GIVEN ME. I WAS PROMISED A LOT OF THINGS AND COMFORTED BY A LOT OF THINGS. I WAS TOLD EVERYTHING WOULD WORK OUT JUST FINE. I AM TRYING AS HARD AS I CAN TO HAVE THE FAITH I NEED TO BELIEVE IT, BUT MY HUMAN MIND IS STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW!
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON RIGHT? THAT IS WHAT EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME, AND I KNOW I HAVE BEEN KNOW TO SAY THAT A LOT. I AM JUST NEEDING A LITTLE TIME GETTING THERE!
IT IS NOT THAT WE DIDN'T WANT MORE KIDS, JUST NOT NOW.
BUT THIS IS THE REALITY, WE WILL TAKE IT AS A BLESSING, AND RELY ON FAITH AND PRAYERS THAT THIS IS MEANT TO BE.....
BABY DECKER IS DUE FEBRUARY 12TH (GRANDPA'S HAPPY B-DAY!!)