Despite my worries and meltdowns, we had a WONDERFUL Christmas. We had a very fun party on Christmas Eve at my Mom and Dad's. We had a great dinner, we made reindeer hats for the kids, we decorated cookies for Santa, we opened presents, everyone got new PJ's, and we had homemade hot chocolate and yummy cinnamon rolls. It was a very nice evening.

On Christmas we awoke to lots of presents and lots of snow! A perfect Christmas morning! The boys we very happy with what Santa brought for them. Gage got some transformers and spike the dinosaur. Gavin got a kitchen and a "fur real" puppy. I wish i had video taped Gavin open the puppy, he stuck his head in the box and was kissing and talking to the puppy! Speaking of puppies, my sister Ashley got a new puppy and ring for Christmas! Congratulations! I am soooooo glad I will not be pregnant for the wedding! Thanks!

Jeff got a much needed new coat and rock band, now he just needs someone with musical talent to play it with! I got Wii fit and a 90% finished dresser (Jeff has worked really hard on making me a dresser for Christmas! Thanks!) and the big surprise (yes, Jeff had to redeem himself somehow!) a new WAKE BOARD! I was very shocked and surprised! I only ask for a little thought Jeff, and this was perfect!! I hate being pregnant, and I didn't get to boat last summer due to being pregnant, so this gives me something to really look forward to! Thanks Jeff!
Christmas day we spent in our PJ's playing with our new toys. It was nice and relaxing! After Jeff dug us out of the snow we went to my Mom's for a wonderful Christmas dinner. We played some Wii fit and rock band.

We did have a magical Christmas after all and are very grateful to everyone who thought of us with much wonderful gifts.

I am not going to say it didn't wear on me though! I don't think I have got out of my PJ's for several days now except to go to work yesterday! It must show, because at church today when another pregnant woman was asked how she was feeling, she replied, "I was feeling sorry for myself until I saw Emily!"

Merry Christmas!

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Wishing you a Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
With Love,
The Deckers

Peace on Earth?...I just pray for peace in the Decker house

Does anyone else have mental breakdowns at Christmas? Mine usually happens after Christmas, after I slow down long enough to realize how tired I am. But this years happened early. This was the week of the major meltdown. I am not sure why? Maybe the pregnancy/hormones. Christmas is one of my favorite times of year, I love it, I really do. So I am not sure why I have this problem. That is why I want to know if anyone else does, or if I need to seek some sort of help!

This week was no exception to the stress of Christmas time and the fun and joy of Christmas time.

We decorated gingerbread houses, we made caramels, we drove around the city looking at the Christmas lights, we bought and wrapped gifts, we sang Christmas songs, we read stories by the tree, we watched the kids Christmas shows.......

But we also spent a majority of the week in tears (Mom and Gage), Gage spent a majority of the week in time out, Mom hated Dad for several days, Mom cried some more, Gage was extremely naughty some more, sleep was few and far between, Gage refused to participate in his school Christmas program and threw a HUGE fit in front of everyone, Gage and Gavin refused to see Santa, Gage got pink eye, Decker Family party cancelled, Gage refused to sing in the church Christmas song.......

I feel like I try so hard to make Christmas a magical time for my kids, a fun time for our family, I shop for two months to get deals and get the "perfect" gift for others, I make sure we do service for others, I try to teach my kids about Jesus and Santa, I do all the shopping, all the cards, all the service, all the planning, all the cooking and candy making...... I just want to make others happy. But I feel like I am not accomplishing it, I am not making Christmas wonderful for my family/kids, I am not pleasing others. So I really want to know how the rest of you out there do it all. How do you get everything done that needs to get done, and make Christmas the happiest time of year for your family without having an emotional breakdown?

Just an update on what we have been up to the last few days. On Thursday night we took the boys to the lights at Thanksgiving Point. Of all the years we have gone, they really seemed to enjoy it the most this year. And it takes all of 5 minutes!

On Friday we headed down town to look at the lights at Temple Square. The boys were not as impressed as I thought they would be. They were onry and it was crowded. We still had a good time and we got to eat dinner at Hires. Gage loves to eat at the restaurant that "brings your food to your car window".

On Saturday Jeff and I headed down town by OURSELVES! We went to the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas concert. It was really good. I especially enjoyed the theme this year. It focused on the fact that this has been a hard year for many, but we have a lot to be grateful for. And that it is O.K. to celebrate Christmas despite the hard times. Take in the sights, sounds and smells. After the concert Jeff and I ate at the Roof! My favorite! Have you seen their dessert bar?! And the rolls are heaven!

Sunday the boys went to John Paul's baby blessing. I am sorry I missed it! But the boys were soooo excited to show me the homemade candy canes they made!

It was a busy, fun weekend. We still have LOTS of Christmas activities that we would like to do, but it seems like time is going by soooo fast, and I am running out of steam. I think I have had 8 hours of sleep total in the last 3 nights!

The annual Berg Party was held this last Sunday. It went better than expected considering our Aunt died the night before. It was nice to be together as a family. We had a wonderful dinner, followed by the nativity(which my boys don't like participating in), and then a game of Family Feud.

Family Feud


Caleb, Lacey and Jordan


Jordan, Parker, Ashley and Bradley


Jeff, Saavy, Quinn, Jamie


The nativity


Gavin found a new girlfriend, Saavy


When I was getting ready to go to the party, Gavin continued saying "cheese". I thought he wanted cheese, so I kept saying "just a minute". When I finally got him his cheese he didn't want it. So I continued to pack the diaper bag, as I was putting in the camera, he says in a very frustrated voice, "CHEESE!!" Oh, I guess he wanted me to take his picture!

The reason for the season

My heart is full tonight. I came home from work tonight to the news that my Aunt Susan has passed away. My heart aches. I ache for her husband and two children, I ache for my mother who lost a sister. I ache for all family members who lost a sister or aunt or mother tonight.

Whenever someone dies my thought are overwhelmed with questions, with grief, and at the same time peace. Questions on life after this life; grief over the loss of a loved one, but more so seeing the heartache of others with the loss; and peace the gospel brings, knowing that there is a God and that our loved ones are in the spirit world. I don't deal with death well, who does? But I am so grateful for the knowledge that we can live again, that we can be resurrected, that families can be together forever, that my Aunt is with her Mom and Dad tonight. Death is not the end, and this knowledge lessens the sting. I don't know that my Aunt believed much of this, if any of this at all. I can't imagine facing death without this knowledge. So for tonight I am truly grateful for the gospel. I am so grateful for Christ and his sacrifice for us, that we may live again. I am grateful for this time of year that we celebrate Christ's birth. I am grateful for a loving family. I think this year has been a year full of struggles for my family, but at the same time we have been very blessed. We have been blessed with many new little ones fresh from God, some were miracles.

I don't believe I will have the opportunity to say goodbye to my Aunt the way I am used to saying goodbye, because there will not be a funeral. So my goodbye to you Susan, is to let you and everyone know that I know that the gospel is true. I know that Jesus is the Christ, that he lives, that He suffered and died for us. I know that we have a true and living prophet on the earth today. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know God hears and answers our prayers. I believe we are given trials to strengthen us, but at the same time we will not be given more than we can handle. I admire your bravery in battling cancer for as long as you have. I smile knowing you are with Grandpa again. Oh, how I miss him!

May we all remember why we celebrate Christmas.