The main reason I started a blog was because Jeff started school and was never home, I had started a daily journal/scrapbook for him, so that he knew what the kids had done or said that day. But it was a lot of work. So I decided a blog was funner and easier. But because I am using this blog as a journal too, I couldn't pass up commenting on a very significant event in my life and in my children's life. Our prophet has passed away. Yesterday had been a rough day to start out with, nothing was going right, church was a nightmare for many reasons. I commented to Jeff that maybe I was done going to Church. I have a strong testimony of this gospel, but I don't always enjoy going to our ward right now. When I heard the news that evening that President Hinckley had passed, it was hard news, what a wonderful man. I love him, I am so happy that his tired body is resting, I am so happy that he is with his wife again. We all know that is where he wanted to be. In contemplating his life these last few hours, I have decided to give more effort in my life. President Hinckley is a true man of God and had a beautiful, unwavering testimony of the gospel. I will lean on that testimony for now. I remember someone making a comment in church a few months back that when your testimony is wavering, as all of ours do at points in our lives, you lean on someone else's. I am so glad to be able to lean on his, and the many others in my life that our true examples of how to live a Christ-like life and have a strong testimony. I do know this Church is true. I am grateful for it's influence in my life. I love my Savior. I love President Hinckley and will truly miss him. I feel I have hit a rough spot in my life, I am tired, I am depressed, I am overwhelmed at the demands of being a mother and a house keeper and a wife. I am thankful for those that I have been able to lean on. Now I realize that this blog entry has been way to personal, so I am sorry to all those who read it.
2 comments:
When I'm feeling like the worst mother in the world, which is very VERY often, the last thing I want is someone telling me "Oh you're not that bad" What I do like to hear is a very close friend share her 'child-ruining' experiences too. There is nothing like having a friend who is not afraid to share their imperfections and is willing to listen and not JUDGE you for your irrational and crazy thoughts. And husbands, bless their hearts, are just not the friends I'm talking about here....there are some things only girlfriends can understand! The woe's of motherhood is one. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Emily, even in my old age I struggle a lot, not with my testimony because I do have a testimony, but with all that is going on around me and around my children. You silly girl, I am work, and I am crying after reading your blog! I have to admit 99% of the time I despise my ward, I often feel so alone. I have to keep reminding myself that the reason I go to church is to renew my covenants with the Lord by taking the sacrament. I have to remind myself daily that I need to overlook all the crap that is going on around my family! What is important is that I remember that my Heavenly Father loves me, he loves my family and he will continue to bless me if I will let him. I am here to tell you that it doesn't get any easier. Please know that your Aunt loves you, I do understand some of your frustrations and wish I could help. Husbands don't get it as hard as they try they just don't get it. Yes, President Hinckley was an example and continues to be because his teachings will live on. One day I will have to tell you about some personal insights into this great man that I have had the experience to learn from other family members. Thank you for being human and having a heart.
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