We headed up to the lake again before Gage started school. I didn't take any pictures, because I didn't feel like it. I did take this self portrait though. I was on the boat without any kids. I didn't have to worry about any kids for about 5 minutes!!! It was pure heaven and I had to document it. After about 5 minutes my Dad threw me out on the tube and my relaxation ended. But I enjoyed it while it lasted.
A couple of weeks ago a friend who I admire very much posted a post on her blog. It was unusual for her in the fact that it was about the horrible week she had been having. How sometimes life is hard, raising kids is hard, overworked, and under appreciated. I was SO relived to read this post, not because she was having a bad day, but that she posted it!!! I read so many blogs and I think how do they do it all. Everyone takes there kids SOO many places, they have soooo many friends, everyone elses kids are behaving.....and so on. I think that we get such an unrealistic view into people's lives when we read their blogs, because everyone always posts the fun and exciting things in life!! Which is great, we should. But I also think it is OK to post the bad. Not only for support, but someone else may be going through the same thing. It is comforting to know others go through some of the same things as you. For me blogging is the only journal I keep anymore. And if my kids read this when they are older and parents, I don't want them to get an unrealistic idea of life. Being a parent is hard. I often think, how did my Mom do this and keep her calm and keep her house spotless and life was hunky dorey. But I bet it wasn't. But I don't remember that. Our parents parents probably grew up around the great depression, life was HARD. They wanted to give their kids the best life, but wasn't much. Our parents wanted to give us everything they could, and most likely gave us more than what their parents gave them. Our generation wants to give our kids even more, a better life. But are our kids going to feel the pressure to give more and more? I think it is important to let our kids when they get older know our struggles and pressures. Maybe they won't feel so much pressure to be "perfect".
I don't know if I made any sense to anyone. I think I am rambling.
Jeff told me I need to update my profile information. But I told him maybe I should wait....if I updated it right now it might say something like this...
I am a mother of three. Somedays I go crazy. I feel like I have lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I have a hard time taking care of three kids...but how do you admit that when no one else seems to struggle. My five year old is out of control. I have been diagnosed with severe post partum depression and anxiety. ?? Fun huh!? I am a neonatal nurse and I like my job. People often ask me if that is a hard job. OFten I think it is a whole lot easier than being home. I love life and adore my kids. I am doing the best I can and yet I have failed.
So maybe I will wait a few months to update my profile!:)
7 comments:
Thank you for your honesty! I too feel like we live in a world where there is too much pressure to be perfect! I just tell myself everyday "tomorrow is a new day." I will try and do better and if I don't, I try not to beat myself up about it. Know you are not alone most women feel this way. But, you are a great mom and friend! You need to give yourself credit you do a lot!
Just remember you have to put you on your list of things to do! Find things that make "YOU" happy and do them! You should not feel selfish for doing that! You cannot take care of everyone else if you don't take care of yourself first!
Love ya~ Jannette
Just remember that we are all here for you.
I can't tell you how much I appreciated your comments on my blog that day. Its so much fun keeping up with friends through blogging and its nice that I actually have a journal for my family, but I LOVE the support system it is for us moms. Its so comforting to know that so many others are going through the same things. I love what you said about how important it is for us to look back and remember the hard times as well as the good. Its so true. I think we're the hardest on ourselves and we should have someone else write our profile for us. It would be much more realistic and remind us that we're really doing great, even on our not so good days.
Emily,
You are a great mom. You are juggling a lot of balls, and that is hard. Don't be so hard on yourself. Because of you and all that you do, you have three beautiful, healthy and happy children. Just keep smiling!!!
Who needs friends when you have family?...right?
AMEN sister! Gees....I think the exact same thoughts. I find myself ready to crack about every other second. Thanks for the post and I can guarantee EVERY mother feels the exact same way. Just know we try our best and that is all we can do.
Hang in there! You are doing a great job. Let out a good scream if you have too.
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